Intolerable tolerance Part 1: Gay Marriage

I am interrupting my bash fest on space hippie mayan lovers to throw down the gauntlent on lovers of another kind. The gay kind. Ooops wait a second! Is "gay" politically incorrect now? Is it considered derogatory like "Faggot", "Queer", "Ass Bandit" or "Prostate Pirate"? Hmm...I would check on that if I really gave a damn. Sadly, I don't. You see I have a disability that makes me different. Something that seperates me from most of politically correct polite society. I am intolerant. Yup...that's right. I don't accept everyone for who they are with open arms. I guess that means in this society of love everyone and tolerate everyone, people should just love bigots like me. I mean, I am so intolerant and biased I should get some kind of award or special holiday or parade or something. I think I might lobby congress. Anyhow, I digress, while I will get to rallying for the acceptance and rights of intolerant haters like myself at a later date I would like to go back to my original subject. Same sex marriage. Pennsylvania, my home state which is notorious for living in the Dark Ages (a quality at times I admire) has begun to consider making it legal for homos to wed. We just managed to get ONE casino and might possibly someday soon sell beer in convenience stores and they jump right into weddings for gays. Wow. Now, it should be INSANELY obvious I am AGAINST this to the highest degree, but well, I am me and in the grand scheme of things, no one gives a shit. This is my blog, however, so I CAN and WILL proceed to share my otherwise meaningless opinion. At what point did it become soooo important to let people do whatever the hell they please as long as "it doesn't hurt anyone else". Now obviously that's not true, I can't walk down the street and legally smoke a joint the size of my Don Mateo cigar, even though it hurts no one but me, but a couple of fanny bandits and carpet munchers can walk down the isle and get married just like the rest of us. Before anyone says it...NO, THEY ARE NOT JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. THEY ARE GAY. You see in nature...a male and a female get their fuck on and make babies. That's the animal world. Dog sniffs ass..smells coochie...bangs it. Dog sniffs ass...smells balls...fights with it. THAT IS THE RIGHT WAY. See dogs understand this, people...mmmm...not so much. Now yes, there are those poor confused poochies who will bust nuts on anything with a pulse but they don't tend to live to long in the wild as a bigger dog will take offense to the anal intrusion attempt and kill it OR it is a domestic homo doggie who has been kept away from bootie while his nads were still intact (Much like long term prison, which is a whole 'nother set of rules). The point is...HOMO IS NOT BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE, henceforth un-natural. I have heard the argument "People are born gay not made" and "It's not a choice" or what have you. I really fail to see the point there or why that should even matter. Even IF you "can't help" lovin the penis even when you have one yourself why exactly does that mean that you should be entitled to something that was, FROM IT'S VERY BEGINNING was meant for a MAN AND WOMAN. Marriage was created for HUSBAND (male) and WIFE (female). It was not made for you. You do not meet the criteria. You don't fit the requirements. If you want to spend the rest of your life slurping the same ding dong, and get to file a joint tax return while you are at it. whatev homo, BUT YOU NEED TO CREATE SOMETHING NEW. You can't call it married, you can't have a wedding, you just can't. Even if they do say it's legal, and you get it on paper. It means NOTHING. Why? Because a Guy can't be a Wife (female) and a girl can't be a husband (male) and no matter how you try to turn it around in your head, it just doesn't work because marriage wasn't made for you. So go make up some wierd homo union thing and do whatever. Leave marriage, holy matrimony and real family life alone. Fags.

The 2012 Rants Continued

Yes, I am still stuck in this vein. I think I am only giving it this much attention is because it is something the DOES deserve a great deal of attention, just not the kind it has been getting thus far, IMHO. The more into this I get, the more I can understand people's concern and the reaction of people to hearing the world may belly up in 2 years. All I have to do is look at my daughter, the most perfectly beautiful thing on earth, and right away the thought of untold chaos and misery being 2 years coming...well...rips my heart out. I don't really mean to come off as hateful and harsh to ALL who believe it will happen, and I don't wish ill will to ALL who are speaking about and preparing for it. Not ALL. The are ALOT though. Quite a few of these crystal encrusted, psychic transmedium, representative of the Glactic Council of the Star Jackasses...Those are the kinds of complete imbiciles I want to line up in a straight line and then run over them all with a steam roller. Astrologer Space Hippies...consider yourselves on notice. The reason these people get under my skin so much is the fact they are able to cause a great deal of fear with very little knowledge. I'll get in depth with the space hippies later today or tomorrow. Right now, fatherhood calls

2012, The Great Clusterfuck, Part Deux

So as I ended the last post. There is an inherent danger that there will be violence and panic related incidents, not because the world is ended, or because the poles are shifting, or because toilets are flushing in reverse; but because people have worked themselves into such a frenzy that they will react to a situation that isn't actually materializing. Has ANYONE stopped to consider that may actually be exactly the kind of situation tha certain people would like to see? Has anyone given thought to the idea that maybe there are groups of people so dedicated to the idea of 2012 chaos that they facilitate it themselves through spreading paranoia beforehand?? It's not like it is all that farfetched. It also isn't like it would be extremely difficult to accomplish either. When I was graduating high school back in '99 there was the Y2k doom crowd. I remember how many people were convinced that we would graduate and a few months later be living in a wasteland of anarchy and chaos. I remember working part time at my best friends dad's computer consulting company, we also built custom boxes and the question every single person asked "can it be made Y2k compliant?"
"Yeah sure, for a little bit extra we can assure 100% Year 2000 compliance"
"O.k. dad, how do I make it Y2k Compliant?"
"Just make a wallpaper in MS Paint that looks professional and says "guaranteed y2k functionality" and put one of these stickers on."

The same principal seems to apply to the 2012 mess...

"Can I survive 2012?"
"If you buy my book, buy my custom made survival kit, then you have a real good chance."
"What do I put in the survival kit and book, boss?"
"Just give 'em some band-aids, a few MRE's from the gun show, a light stick, and one of those oversize peices of aluminum foil. Then write a few dozen pages about finding shelter, digging a hole in the ground, buying candles and how to signal the Space Brothers with their aluminum brain wave helmets during the Dimensional Gate Rift just prior to the Pole shift."

People are profiting from this, as people always profit from fear. There are "publishers" like Yowbooks (Nibiru will kill us in 2012 nutjobs) as well as a cadre of other snake oil peddlers expouding every end of the world scenario that the human brain is seemingly capable of. Everything from a lost planet called Nibiru that flys by and wreaks havoc to Reptilian Nephilim alien boogeyman returning to re-enslave us all. Interdimensional Monsters, Pole Shifts causing the continents to fold over on themselves, UFO armadas, you name it. If all the theories of how we will die that fateful year all proved correct, it would be an epic sight to see. Monsters coming through a dimensional gate to get wasted by gun toting alien who's ships are being smacked into dust by Nibiru floating on by all while earth's asshole and nose trade places. Ahhh....epic. Through all this seemingly neurotic end 'o' days drivel, there have been some folks who actually have managed to put together coherent, believable, and even....dare I say well written books/theories about our impending superdoom. They are the ones that I think may do the most damage in the long run. I don't necessarily believe the more educated and down to earth guys are the ones PURPOSELY pushing people to insanity, but the clarity and the plausibility of their works could be a more effective trigger on a loaded and fragile mind. Even worse than that a group of fragile minds, of which there are plenty. There is a danger and a threat in just the FEAR of 2012. Tragedy on a smaller scale could be taking root in just the very idea and marketing of 2012. If that is the case and if innocent people are robbed, killed and die due to no disaster but due to just FEAR of the disaster. Who will take responsibility for that? I think we can agree one thing. No one will, even if they are and should. More 2012 hating to come. 2012 haters like me, unite. Fear the Afraid

2012, The Mayans ,and the Great Clusterfuck!!!

It's inescapable. You can't avoid it. Everywhere you turn it's there, looming, pressing down on you with ever impending urgency. It's creeping into ever corner of every facet of your media and nothing you can do will stop it. Soon you will be facing... 2012. The Big Plopper. The end of the world. Armageddon. The Apocalypse. The big "Oh shit!". According to "Credible" "sources" (notice the quotes around both sets of words) The whole enchilada is predestined to expire cataclysmically on December 21, 2012. Some people just say December 2012. A few just say 2012 overall. This is the end of the world folks, it's kind of hard to pin down and limit it to one date so at best or worst depending on your outlook we have a whole year of paranoia to look forward to. Personally, I have a survival plan, a survival kit, a shelter and a small network of meeting points, supply stores, and water buffaloes ready to rock and roll, but that is because disasters can happen any time at any place, not because I buy into 2012 in the least. In fact I don't. I don't expect to have to open so much as one bottle of my stockpiled Deer Park champagne anytime in December of 2012. I think I will be sufficiently plastered and belligerent on eggnog made from bourbon and ice cubes. There are just so many things completely WRONG with this 2012 spaz fit. Well, I mean things wrong ASIDE from the fact that it in and of ITSELF IS WRONG. Before people who do not know me personally and can not know better, I am NOT a closed minded person at all. I believe in ALOT of things that we don't readily accpet as part of our everyday lives. UFO's, Hauntings, CERTAIN LIMITED CONSPIRACIES, Psychic Phenomenon (again limited) and even certain Dimensional theories. However, because I am open and receptive to realities beyond the senses does not mean I will blindy jump on whatever crystal decorated, Star Brother Love Federation bandwagon that come's a jang a langin my way. There has absolutely GOT to be some degree of discernment here. Where 2012 is concerned a shitload of discernment is necessary because the REAL threat is the size and pervasiveness of this turd. 2012 is becoming a danger just by the fear and nerves that the rumor alone is generating and it would be sad if the only deaths and casualties were from iresponsibility and plain stupidity. Dammit...I have an appointment to go to but I will finish this when I get home. I hate to say it but this is going to be one long ass post

Oh yeah..I forgot...

Speaking of rage. My brother in laws psychotic Sig. other now belives that everything is kosher between the two of them now. My wife and I and everyone in the family pretty much hope that it's really more a matter of her wishful thinking than actual fact, and that my b.i.l. is still making plans to get the hell away from that schizophrenic trainwreck. I really wish I could say or do something to get through to him. She controls everything about their life together. It's all about her way, what she wants and that's compounded because she lives in some parallel fantasy universe where she chit chats with faries (the winged kind, not the homo kind) and turns into a dragon or whatever. I wish the bitch did ACTUALLY turn into a dragon. Then I could cut her fucking head off, mount it on my wall and use her talons and legs to make a table. That would be bitchin. A fitting end for the crazy bitch too. She's just crossed me one time too many. I have no liking, empathy, respect or anything for her. Grrrr. Well...the day isn't over yet, she could still get mauled to death by a pack of rouge chipmunks with a score to settle and nothing to lose.

Quitting cigarettes is far easier than quitting rage!

Well over a month since I officialy quit cigarettes with a success rate thus far that I had completely ruled as impossible. I do however owe no small debt of gratitude to other supplemental forms of nicotine intake. It is quite true, I have parted ways with the boorish and obscene cigarette (I have only begun to see it as boorish and obscene since quitting in an effort to turn myself off to them all together). I have in NO WAY kicked the addiction to nicotine however. I still damn well better have my Vitamin-N or you had better believe I will be down your throat like a pissed off wolverine with a assfull of hornets. That being said...I have discovered the previously hidden joys of the older and more refined methods of tobacco usage. Cigars, Pipe smoking, and Snuff. So far I seem to enjoy the middle to lower high end cigars, not the most expensive but not the cheapest either, pipe tobacco seems to be burley and latakia, and snuff...ahhhh snuff. Now let's get something down right out of the gate. I am NOT talking aboutthe snuff like Skoal, or Copenhagen or the the stuff you see Bubba McFlannel with his lower lip packed full of. NO NO NO NO NO. Not that, that is moist snuff or more accurately dip. The primer pick-up truck crowd can keep that stuff (I have used it on occasion, but a can dries into dust long before I finish it) The snuff I use is dry NASAL snuff. The real snuff. The stuff that the word SNUFF came from. In the nose. Sniffin snuff. Nose candy, Tobaccocaine, Sheffield Pride, Sneezing Powder. I have to say, I have a major love affair with Nasal snuff. I've spent in the neighborhood of $250 amassing my current stash/collection/supply of various nasal snuffs from around the world. England, Germany, India, The Netherlands...even the good old U.S. of A has some nasal snuff that actually doesn't suck. Namely Rooster, which is a weapon of doom in the snuff world...it can and it will blow your head off. My wife says at times snuff has actually become an obsession with me. I suppose it has. I wouldn't want to live in a world without my nose packed full of tobacco dust and spices from halfway around the globe. Elitist bastard that I am. It must mean something like obession when I had been willing to shell out $35 for a Patrick Collins snuffbox without hesitation. This is a wooden box just slightly bigger that the cassette tapes that went into hand held recorders and answering machines. A small small wooden box indeed for a nearly $40 price tag. If were to retain the same size to price ratio it would make a lovely $1500 Jewelry Box. I guess It's safe to say I am FAR from tobacco free, but at least I have parted ways with the demonized cigarette. I have to say though, the cigarette was blocking me from so much enjoyment that the others provide. With Snuff, Pipes, hookahs and cigars...there is the much loved nicotine aspect but there is the sensual enjoyment that I had never been able to enjoy with cigarettes. Cigarettes were just a form of addiction maintenence, where the others have a seperate and sensory pleasure all their own. Even trying snuff and cigars while i still smoked cigarettes, cigarettes somehow had made it impossible to sense the underlying joys and nuiances of the other tobacco forms. To others out there (not that anyone fucking reads this but oh well) who want to give up cigarettes..try some of the alternatives. Ignore the fucking stupid ass morons who ramble on about trading one form of addiction for another. Fuck those stupid asses, it's better to do something LESS deadly that keep doing something deadly because some stupid dickface made you feel like you had to make an all or nothing commitment. Just choke those dumb bastards. See! SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!? It's is SOOOOOO much easier to quit cigarettes that to quit blind rage.

WE ARE GOING TO HELL!!! (or at the very least Detroit)

I have come to several solid conclusions. There IS a hell. 98.9765% of the world is going there. It will have top 40 music playing in Kids Bop format over loudspeakers on every corner, day and night. We will all be forced to dress in NOTHING but graphic print t shirts and blue jeans. ABC family, VH1, and MTV will be the only 3 t.v. channels available. It is truly a bland, useless and horrifying place. I shudder. Ugh...I know I say it time and time again, and that I will continually say it time and time again, but POPULAR CULTURE MAKES ME VIOLENTLY ILL. The people we put on television today and emulate or idolize is just so sad and depressing. My sister in law, who is like my own little sister (god bless her confused, programmed little heart) just adores this cookie cutter peice of dogshit Kendra. Yes yes, the "Girls next door" Kendra. I sweat to god that woman is not human but rather a failed attempt to bring a malformed Barbie Doll to life using the brain of a slightly retarded duck and the personality of some wet dry-wall they found in a dumpster. If Kendra's brain registered a spark of intellegence she would burst into plastic melty flames due to the slightly retarded ducks inability to handle a coherent thought. It's truly sickening and disturbing that this train wreck is put on television, even worse that anyone would admire or as my sister says "just love her." Kendra is just one of the MANY of the "What the hell are you doing BREATHING much less on Television???" crowd. These Magnificent Morons of the Modern Day include but are in NO WAY limited to, the Kardashians, Those Jersey Things, The human waste they cast on shows such as "Flavor of Love", "For the love of Ray-J", basically any reality show with the words "Love" and "For" in it. Why? What are you actually contributing to society? What purpose do you serve? Why should I brake to avoid running you over in the street? We are selling ourselves into stupidity and lameness for the sake of entertainment. Yup...things are getting shot to hell in a hurry