Intolerable tolerance Part 1: Gay Marriage

I am interrupting my bash fest on space hippie mayan lovers to throw down the gauntlent on lovers of another kind. The gay kind. Ooops wait a second! Is "gay" politically incorrect now? Is it considered derogatory like "Faggot", "Queer", "Ass Bandit" or "Prostate Pirate"? Hmm...I would check on that if I really gave a damn. Sadly, I don't. You see I have a disability that makes me different. Something that seperates me from most of politically correct polite society. I am intolerant. Yup...that's right. I don't accept everyone for who they are with open arms. I guess that means in this society of love everyone and tolerate everyone, people should just love bigots like me. I mean, I am so intolerant and biased I should get some kind of award or special holiday or parade or something. I think I might lobby congress. Anyhow, I digress, while I will get to rallying for the acceptance and rights of intolerant haters like myself at a later date I would like to go back to my original subject. Same sex marriage. Pennsylvania, my home state which is notorious for living in the Dark Ages (a quality at times I admire) has begun to consider making it legal for homos to wed. We just managed to get ONE casino and might possibly someday soon sell beer in convenience stores and they jump right into weddings for gays. Wow. Now, it should be INSANELY obvious I am AGAINST this to the highest degree, but well, I am me and in the grand scheme of things, no one gives a shit. This is my blog, however, so I CAN and WILL proceed to share my otherwise meaningless opinion. At what point did it become soooo important to let people do whatever the hell they please as long as "it doesn't hurt anyone else". Now obviously that's not true, I can't walk down the street and legally smoke a joint the size of my Don Mateo cigar, even though it hurts no one but me, but a couple of fanny bandits and carpet munchers can walk down the isle and get married just like the rest of us. Before anyone says it...NO, THEY ARE NOT JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. THEY ARE GAY. You see in nature...a male and a female get their fuck on and make babies. That's the animal world. Dog sniffs ass..smells coochie...bangs it. Dog sniffs ass...smells balls...fights with it. THAT IS THE RIGHT WAY. See dogs understand this, people...mmmm...not so much. Now yes, there are those poor confused poochies who will bust nuts on anything with a pulse but they don't tend to live to long in the wild as a bigger dog will take offense to the anal intrusion attempt and kill it OR it is a domestic homo doggie who has been kept away from bootie while his nads were still intact (Much like long term prison, which is a whole 'nother set of rules). The point is...HOMO IS NOT BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE, henceforth un-natural. I have heard the argument "People are born gay not made" and "It's not a choice" or what have you. I really fail to see the point there or why that should even matter. Even IF you "can't help" lovin the penis even when you have one yourself why exactly does that mean that you should be entitled to something that was, FROM IT'S VERY BEGINNING was meant for a MAN AND WOMAN. Marriage was created for HUSBAND (male) and WIFE (female). It was not made for you. You do not meet the criteria. You don't fit the requirements. If you want to spend the rest of your life slurping the same ding dong, and get to file a joint tax return while you are at it. whatev homo, BUT YOU NEED TO CREATE SOMETHING NEW. You can't call it married, you can't have a wedding, you just can't. Even if they do say it's legal, and you get it on paper. It means NOTHING. Why? Because a Guy can't be a Wife (female) and a girl can't be a husband (male) and no matter how you try to turn it around in your head, it just doesn't work because marriage wasn't made for you. So go make up some wierd homo union thing and do whatever. Leave marriage, holy matrimony and real family life alone. Fags.